Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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