Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
