Kiss
Puke
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
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