I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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