just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
