In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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