Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
