so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
