Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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