Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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