THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
