You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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