The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
They are going to name an STD after you.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Randomize
