my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
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Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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