so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
