Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
