I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
My vagina just clenched in fear
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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