4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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