Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
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