didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
