Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
