Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
