I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
