So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
