watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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