I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
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