3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
