She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
