Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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