Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
