when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Randomize
