508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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