areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
