How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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