I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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