me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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