Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
kristin has been a bad kristin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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