Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
