Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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