have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
organizing the empties. That sober.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
