I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
we're making bets on your personal life
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize