if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
That accounts for only three of the penises
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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