oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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