You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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