i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
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