Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
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On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
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you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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