All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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