His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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