I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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