im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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