Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant

(1-610): View more from Pennsylvania

he should get drunk with us

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(610): walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant (1-610): he should get drunk with us http://tfl.nu/datt

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(504): View more from Louisiana

Old men and throwing up are my life now.

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(504): Old men and throwing up are my life now. http://tfl.nu/h5tg

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...

(1-918): View more from Oklahoma

there were a lot.

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(918): thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am... (1-918): there were a lot. http://tfl.nu/x7ld

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(718): View more from New York

Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.

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(718): Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much. http://tfl.nu/absj

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(616): View more from Michigan

He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.

(1-616): View more from Michigan

Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!

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(616): He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science. (1-616): Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world! http://tfl.nu/0fvx

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(440): View more from Ohio

I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood

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(440): I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood http://tfl.nu/gvot

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(206): View more from Washington

Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.

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(206): Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me. http://tfl.nu/s5ld

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(513): View more from Ohio

You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.

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(513): You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute. http://tfl.nu/xfpy

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(305): View more from Florida

Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water

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(305): Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water http://tfl.nu/p9in

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.

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(617): Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night. http://tfl.nu/xmy8

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(541): View more from Oregon

Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.

(1-541): View more from Oregon

You're welcome.

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(541): Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes. (1-541): You're welcome. http://tfl.nu/axhz

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(501): View more from Arkansas

After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...

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(501): After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well... http://tfl.nu/7bm0

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(330): View more from Ohio

And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain

(330): View more from Ohio

Marry him now.

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(330): And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain (330): Marry him now. http://tfl.nu/1169

Replies (6) Good night (1046) Bad night (283)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.

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(479): Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day. http://tfl.nu/u3e4

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness

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(617): I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness http://tfl.nu/3h8d

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