Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.