if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'