I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
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I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
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AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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