Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
