He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
