I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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