and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
wow bdsm is so cute
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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