My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize