you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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