My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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